Episode 23

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In this episode, I chat with the lovely Mary Caryl, a makeup, image, and style consultant and a woman who doesn’t believe in age holding her back from anything. Her work as competitive pole artist is proof. Mary talks about her life and journey, explains how her passions and careers have intertwined, and offers me some practical advice on improving my pole techniques as I challenge my body. We also get into the power, artistry, and beauty of pole dancing, the gracefulness and even weightlessness of the movements, and how much fun we both have on the pole. 

Today, Mary shares:

  • the mechanics of pole dancing,
  • the importance of practice and conditioning,
  • how intentions inform the body,
  • how a tightened fascia can be like a home-made facelift, and
  • creative solutions to counter problems.

 

Highlights

On her purpose: 

I have a makeup collection. I try to put together how-to guides for people. I’m here always to consult with women on particulars about their look. 

I never expected that in my sixties I would be dancing on a pole and doing this journey.

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On discomfort/fear:

It’s all about really understanding our own bodies and where our strengths are and we our weaknesses are. And understanding that not every move is going to feel right for your body and that’s ok. Find the ones that you like, work with those…Take a little more time to get into the ones that your body is less comfortable with.

A lot of times change is frightening. My answer to that – I love this word – is vulnerable. We have to allow a certain amount of vulnerability to be about us. If you are not vulnerable and you constantly put up a wall around you, nothing will happen to you, nothing, good or bad.

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On intentions:

I’m kind of like the wind, I go with the flow and try things. 

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On perceptions: 

It’s not about right or wrong image, it’s about, is it working? Every individual has to ask that question, is my image, my look, working for me? Is it getting me what I want?

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On taking ownership:

You only lose it if you let it go. _____________________________________________________________________

On skin care:

Peoples’ skin has become very irritated because of the use of bad products and also lack of environmental protection. 

There are certain basic things that give you an advantage. Don’t smoke. I do enjoy wine with dinner, so moderate alcohol, to me, is fine. Stay out of the sun. If you’re in the sun, be protected. It’s very important to properly cleanse the skin with a good cleanser that is not irritating. A daily sunscreen and a night cream are really good. From that point, then you want to target problems. 

Salicylic acid – that can be good in a product but only about once a week. So you want to be aware of something like that. I would say any product that doesn’t taste good; any product that smells overly perfumy, that one would not be good. 

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On pole dancing:

You can really dance pole in so many different genres. You can dance it raunchy, you can dance it like a ballerina or flirtatious, there’s athletic, you can do doubles, or you can do comedy.

Go to beginner classes, see what happens. It will improve your physicality; you will retain or maintain or gain balance, strength, and flexibility.

When you come into it with just you, just have expectations of having a good time, getting a nice workout, a good warm up, and becoming – slowly but surely – more flexible, more balanced, and stronger. 

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On negativity:

For years I’ve done image consulting and been a makeup artist. Women would come to me for a makeup look or help with their clothes and they would say things like, “oh, I’m too old for that” or something to that effect. And I would psychologically put a bubble around myself because I didn’t want to absorb that. I wanted to help them, but I didn’t want to take that on.

People who tend towards depression have a harder time with the physical, they tend to have more physical problems because the connection’s not there to tell the physical body that I need you to be strong, I need you to be better. 

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On growth:

We have to know how to be a little vulnerable to allow ideas to come to us, to allow experiences to happen, and then we can grow from them.

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On work ethic:

With anything, you have to train into it, you have to learn it, you have to try it, you have to go for it.

Our children are our future. That is so true. We really need to really invest in them and care for them and to bring them up. But the other side of the coin is we are their future. And we need to look at ourselves as physically, mentally, emotionally the whole person, the mind-body-spirit…What we do to care for ourselves will be a good example to them. As they mature and age it will give them hope and inspiration.

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Keep in touch with Mary Caryl:

MaryCaryl.com – learn more about Mary Caryl and purchase makeup, skincare, and clothing or send her an email at MaryCaryl@aol.com.