In this episode, I chat with Meg Reynolds, “fiction” author of The Marriage Saving Mistress: Sex, Lies, and Jesus. She shares about her journey through marriage and divorce, navigating the long process of helping her partner move from divorce proceedings to reconciliation, and how it all came together in one book. Whether you read it to enjoy a sensational story while relaxing on the beach or as information guide, you’ll find juicy tidbits and helpful advice.
Today, Meg opens up about:
the process of writing so personal a book,
the impact of emotional responses,
what it means to find the perfect balance in a relationship,
and where she’s finding material for her next book, The Taken Man.
On her purpose:
Because I understand women very well, I’m able to give them some advice to help them save their relationships. I do not claim to understand men as well as I wish I did but I definitely understand how we think as women.
I love knowing that at the end of the day, I had moments or interactions that were meaningful, that made a difference in someone’s life. So I put myself in a lot of scenarios to meet strangers…I’m available for what needs to come my way.
Facing it is the only way you get past it.
All the people you are going to help are going to be more important than your fear of what other people think of you.
For women, we have to be aware of how much [our emotions] affect our partner so that our partner will always feel safe to come to us and to communicate to us.
Contentment doesn’t start with our relationships but it starts with being grateful for everything we truly have and then, I think, everything else will just be a bonus.
People tend to open up when they perceive that someone’s really wanting to listen and talk to them about it.
I feel like people have always sensed that I am not a superficial person and I want to know how someone really is, what their life really looks like.
First and foremost, I would say learn your childhood. Learn the feelings that you felt before you were seven years old and deal with those. Recognize that most of the time you feel those as an adult, they are not actually from what’s in front of you.
I really have found contentment where ever I am.
Men will not be upfront and be open with how important things are, but if they are presenting any sort of invitation, really take that more seriously.
Marriage is a commitment, not just to have everything we want. Marriage is a commitment for us to love another human being as we love our self.
We have to make sure we continue to give even when we don’t feel it’s being reciprocated.
The problem is that if [omitting the truth] causes any sort of resentment or hidden pockets of secrecy, that leaves room for someone else to come in and fill that gap.
I don’t think any woman would want to know. However, I think that if they do find out, they might be glad they did.
My ex-husband never truly communicated the depth of his unhappiness or what was wrong until he had shut down and made his decision, and at that point it’s really hard to come back.
If you are in an abusive situation that is harmful to you, then that is one thing and you need to take care of yourself and your children and your loved ones at all cost. However, if it is something that is emotionally difficult, I do believe that there’s a time when it could turn around. That’s a risk that people have to choose for themselves.
On being single:
I am thankful for my ability to have the freedom in life right now.
We are creatures that need community. But that community can come with roommates, it can come with friends, it can come with a social or athletic organization. So there are other ways to fill that social need that we have.
On writing her first book:
To this day, I’ve told my mom not to read it.
I think it’s such a therapeutic thing to do. I think it’s healing.
Keep in touch with Meg Reynolds:
For her book - The Marriage Saving Mistress: Sex, Lies, and Jesus
Her Amazon author page - Meg Reynolds
Facts Are Not Meanings – Frank Klemmer lesson
Getting the Love You Want – by Harville Hendrix, PhD
I Am Second – website; “a movement meant to inspire people of all kinds to live for God and for others.”